he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
