Do you still have your period?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
