i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
