my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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