I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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