My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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