Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
