Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize