Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
