Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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