hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
