I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
