Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
