After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
