I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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