Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
