we have officially lost it.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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