What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's blow job season.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
