you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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