So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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