He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
