I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
