well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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