Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
