Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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