I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
