My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
