it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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