i would punch a child for taco bell
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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