one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
