I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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