I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
