hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
