I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
