When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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