You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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