I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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