This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
