My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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