College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
