but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
