it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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