Do you still have your period?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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