i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
