I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
