Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
