Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
