Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize