Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
