...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
