if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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