i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
