I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
