Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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