Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
