So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
