yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
