My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
