Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize