Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
