he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
