Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
