I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
