He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
