Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
