i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize