You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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